masterofpuppies
Master of Puppies
masterofpuppies

It’ll be half-hour segments of Grandpa Joe smoking ditch weed while rocking aviators in a camaro. Uncle Tim will continually remind him to wear his seatbelt while breaking into intermittent harmonica solos. They’ll occasionally prank call Boehner and make friendship bracelets for Obama.

“You literally look like Rob paid for you,” says Khloé.

“Look, all you did is command a wild animal to do your bidding with just your thighs. That’s not skillful or athletic!”

Kara needs to step off Dressage. It’s really hard to ballance a 1200lb beast while looking like you are doing nothing. Also, anyone who can watch a freestyle and not cry is a robot.

Simone Biles, First of Her Name, Queen of the Balance Beams and the Floor Mats, Breaker of Records, Mother of Tumbles.

DJ has 5 inches and 35lbs of muscle on Vin.. it wouldn’t be much of a fight. I’d like to see it since I’ve never cared much for Vin.

Excuse me: here is my man your man!

“making her the first self-made female billionaire”? Oprah (of Oprah fame) and Doris Fisher (GAP founder) were billionaire looooong before Elizabeth Holmes. I think you meant “youngest.”

Your honor, he wants to finger me with all his rings on.

Is there where I get to complain about how *after* I quit my job at Bank of America, I found out I was blocked from a promotion because, despite my boss, his boss, and several peers recommending me enthusiastically, the boss above them had an uncomfortable boner for me and said my attire was inappropriate?

Whenever I see or read someone shaming Beyonce for her personal choices.

Who? "I don't know him." And don't please with the "he got in trouble with the LAW shit." This guy broke the barriers (without having to do tiresome 'kung-foo.') "Educate" yourself, fairly new staff writer. Dae Kim is da bomb.

Nah, I am waiting for the ultimate dig. If she’s pregnant with a boy, she names the young heir Robert Kardashian III. After the child’s father, and of course, his grandfather. I think Kris, Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe would implode. Their precious father’s name given to this child born from Blac Chyna?! But rightfully

“How DARE you make me feel uncomfortable, black people!”

im crying

I took it to mean always seeing the back of his head cause he's always leaving

other cards Hillary has or had:

...No. If Philip Roth was allowed to write the same fucking story over and over, about boring, ruthless men on navel-gazing quests for sexual fulfillment — and win prizes for it — and be called one of the greatest writers of his generation — I think we as a culture can afford Beyoncé space to take what is personal to h

I think there needs to be a world kebab-off: the very best Turkish, Lebanese, Georgian, Armenian, Persian, Afghan, and Pakistani kebab chefs, all throwing it down on the grill in their national styles. If we can keep the Armenians and Turks from killing each other it’ll be the greatest thing in human history.