No doubt. No doubt in my mind. You better believe things would had been different. He’d have gone pro in a heartbeat. Been making millions of dollars and living in a big ol’ mansion somewhere, soaking it up in a hot tub with his soul mate.

If coach would have put him in, they woulda won state!

The mustache is a nice touch. I imagine he will tell those who attend the showcase that he could probably throw a baseball over those mountains.

Sure, he’s muscular now, but I challenge you to find one picture of Tim during his playing career where he’s not ripped.

Grant Brisbee:

In the former, he writes a letter to his daughter Hailie, the subject of so many Marshall Mathers songs and controversies, basically offering up his own origin story. (“Makes me feel like I don’t belong or something, ooh / I think I might’ve just stumbled on something new,” serves as his spider bite or overdose…

It’s always interesting to watch conservatives attempt humor. The references are almost always hilariously out of date, the attempts at self-deprecation are usually painfully forced, and it comes across like they decided to improv the first take and then felt it was comedy gold that couldn’t be topped. It’s like…

I have always wondered what it would look like if anime people were real, and I’d like to apologize to the world for wishing that. I am deeply, deeply sorry world.

Planet Terror is a modern classic.

Didn’t do anything special? What the fuck are you smoking?

No wins at all for Horizon Zero Dawn is messed up.

I think Kojima’s writing is kind of awful, but damn if he doesn’t have an uncanny eye for incredible camera movement, character designs, and general cinematic blocking. Can’t help but be intrigued by this.

We’re all distraught over this, but don’t dole out spectacularly stupid advice. At the heart of this story is the omnipresence of cameras - and if you think that by storming in and assaulting a child bully at school is going to yield positive results in this day and age (nothing like when your badass mother did it),…

Because not everyone needs to resell shit.

Because not everyone needs to resell shit.

I love Rashida. I bet Pixar was overwhelmed with relief when they started reading, but then she hit them with that last sentence like:

My god this is so wrong. Like, REALLY wrong. Except for the CiCi’s part.

Conservatives:
My business is successful because of my personal accomplishments.
My business failed because of your politics.

Don’t eat Papa John’s. He’s still a racist, but he just wants to be less overt about it. It’s not for nothing that Nazi numbnuts chose his pizza

Wait, you mean people that actually believe what is obviously bronze-age mythology sprinkled with a healthy does of fear of the “other” throughout all its teachings aren’t gonna have the most nuanced views on race?

Church goers are racist hypocrites. What a shock!