Come at me, Al Qaeda!

I can haz 5.0?

They should just go full 'Murica and make a limo out of a Silverado 3500 or some such complete with stacks for burning coal.

That's an odd way to describe being a Boy Scout troop leader.

Mormon Assault Vehicle.

Few know that the golden plates Joseph Smith found buried in the hill near Manchester, New York in 1823, were actually attached to a Ford Econoline. HISTORY!

Seriously? No one has said a truck bed?
I mean you need a blanket or two to lay down beforehand, but what girl doesn't like gettin a little freaky outside?

Well since they recalled my 04 Liberty I have more time to drive my 75 pinto.

The front's a car

If you leave the seat up, female companion can prop herself up here facing the front of the car (or male if you're into that kind of thing, not that there's anything wrong with that). Sort of like that weird ramp shaped sex pillow sold in the back of Motortrend.

I want something very durable and self sustaining for a trip like this.

I wonder what the conversation during the forced drive to Stafford was like. I'll bet that it was really awkward. Any of these would have worked.

Want to really confuse them, have an old pickup with 3 on the tree.

The Prius, and all of its Prii family, because they suck the fun out of driving.

I'm a tornado. You sent out your ragtag team of reporters into the fray, trying to chase me. They got too close, and I tipped them over. Hopefully you stocked up on the insurance cause they will be beaten and bruised, not to mention the car is gonna be a write off. Allstate will cover all that acts of stupidity. Are…

I've got it!

Pontulance! (not to be confused with petulance)

"Panama...Pana-ma-uhhhhh...."

Can't tell if it's for the special olympics or a new party logo sponsored by the chinese government...

For the most tasteFUL car, my vote goes to the 1961-1963 Lincoln Continental: