The one I worked as a teenager HAD one. Not anymore. None of the ones I’ve seen have them anymore.

Gluing pubic hair. Obviously, Beavis and Butthead was way ahead of its time.

Do you want violent psychopaths? ‘Cause this is how you get violent psychopaths.

It reminds me of masturbating in front of a fan.

My cat loves to leap into the dryer as soon as I open the door (likes the heat, I guess?), so I always check it before turning it on. I’ve never thought of checking the washer, but will do so now.

This break I’m taking is tiring me out, so I might need to take another break...

Shit, my mom thinks every search bar is a ‘look it up on google’ bar.

I still can’t believe I’m saying this, but out of all the Marvel Netflix shows, I think Iron Fist should have had a 3rd season. Not only did they vastly improve over the 1st season(it was soooo bad), but they actually got me excited to see where they were going to go with the 3rd. It’s like the show suddenly said,…

I’ve had some particularly sweaty jobs. I’ve always use gold bond in the past since nothing ruins your day like having a wet, sweaty ass.

Lawd have mercy!! Putting those boxers on in the morning would turn me back into a little boy!!

So, spider-leggedcookiesforbreakfast?

They’d have to ground that plane for another week if that was me, ‘cause I would’ve shat myself repeatedly if I awoke to what I thought was an abandoned plane in flight.

I was just about to say, this is some Langoliers shit.

I know my marriage would probably be a lot better! :)

The only thing she could have done differently is kill this god damned piece of shit as soon as she met him.

At the time, I thought I had clicked on an Onion story. I’m now going to go back in time to when I still thought this was an Onion headline so I don’t have to deal with this reality. Cause if this shit is real then I just can’t. Fuck humanity.

I don’t know why everyone is complaining about an end credits song missing when you’ve got the same character pronouncing NERV 2 different ways in the very first episode. Also, all the females and Shinji sound like they could have been voiced by the same voice actor. It is not Headmasters bad, but it could have been…

At least he didn’t say Mayo.

Is the World’s Largest Hot Dog a World’s Largest Sandwich?

I can totally understand not giving cash directly to homeless people. OTOH, for a person buying the food you make in order to give it to homeless people?  Yeah, if your business/organization doesn’t like this, then that business/organization definitely falls into the category of  what is called ‘paying lip service to…