took me an embarrassingly long time

Obviously the dude had zero money because he can’t even get Hallmark Christmas movies that Dean Cain passed on. But my cold beans from a can observation isn’t even about him having no money. Everything you hear about Dean McDermmot is basically “man with no self respect and zero motivation to do anything even for…

I don’t even like cats that much, but I would much rather read your detailed story of Jennifer Garner and the cat cafe than the divorce or Spilling-McDermott.

Your whole comment was a huge stress release. 🙌

 That Jennifer Garner story is missing important facts! Like what kind of kitties did she hang out with? Which ones did she give head skritches to, how many gently headbutted her (out of love, of course), and which ones demanded belly rubs? Were there wrasslin’ kitties, just like there are in my living room right this…

The IRS can take whatever they want.

I had an outstanding balance with the IRS (when I was younger and thought ignoring correspondence and letting them endlessly keep my tax return money was a solid strategy) and despite whittling it down to $1200, they took my entire paycheck one pay period. Turns out the IRS can get…

That is literally my dream job.

Watching her get eaten by her own is my current catharsis.

My job is my job. My catharsis is cross-stitching and no one can take that from me.

They persuaded their bodyguard to buy lemonade, and then their driver, and then the maids, who “dug deep for their spare change.”

Hello. I am Philip Bump and I write for The Washington Post.

Hmm, I have no problem with talking about a fake dick. I think fake dicks are very funny and worth talking about, actually! My problem is when in doing so, you characterize attempted rape as “seduction.”

Maria Bamford and Tig Notora. Both of whom have awesome series out right now (on Netflix and Amazon, respectively.)

“I am so confused by this song. Probably because it’s been a long week and I fried my brain days ago but I can’t stop overthinking it...”

Margaret Thatcher said, “Being powerful is like being a lady, if you have to tell people you are, then you really aren’t.”

I am so confused by this song. Probably because it’s been a long week and I fried my brain days ago but I can’t stop overthinking it...

I never knew that I needed this gif in my life, but I did.

Also, maybe I’m reading the article incorrectly, but didn’t she actually do the stuff she is saying she would never do?

“I would never ...” = “I didn’t realize there would be consequences for my actions.” Which is why we are seeing an uptick in racist and anti-Semitic acts; people are getting the message that they can get away with it.

Is this court ruling even at all legitimate? I mean, this so-called judge probably has no clue and Philmy McPhilmerson can just SEE YOU IN COURT