I’m the liar.

I thought as a kid that before color video, the whole world was in black and white. Not just movies.

So this is more like a lie I made my sister believe, because I was the evil manipulative yarn-spinning older sister and she was my gullible cooperative sidekick, but:

I attended a fundamental baptist middle school (ankle length jean skirts, chapel, no pop music, etc) and I distinctly remember a “science” class where they had to do some major mental gymnastics to support a literal biblical interpretation of science. Fossils are a lie from Satan, carbon dating is a trick by…

I was 10, which means my older sister was 13. I saw her and mom in the bathroom together a lot. And I was all WTF is this about? And more importantly, what am I missing out on?

My dad told me that cows have shorter legs on one side than the other, so that they can stand on hills and not fall down. He also told me that the leaves he was smoking were “Turkish Tobacco.”

I have a friend (really) who did 90 days in a Federal camp last year. She told her boyfriend that she was coming out on a Wednesday. She had me pick her up on Tuesday, take her to get her hair colored, eyebrows waxed, a facial and Botox. We stayed in a hotel near the camp that night. The next day she changed back into…

Still not quite as good as this guy:

I know this raises huuuuge ethical considerations, and would be an interesting debate if it hadn’t happened horrifically in the real world, but WHY would they resuscitate the foetus?

If she wants to be “respected for her mind” then maybe she should focus more on her music and not trying to have as ridiculous an image as possible.

“Are you only able to communicate in sarcasm? Are you 14?”

Yes, because she just “made” it without any difficulty or effort on her part and she’s certainly not qualified to speak about the sexism in the music industry after working her way through it... Let’s ignore the fact that she has stated that she was raped by a producer as a budding artist. That’s certainly not sexism…

She’s not wrong. Most music execs and corporate owners are men. Most of the producers are too. Plus, when women get in they still can’t find any respect. Rolling Stone list of the 100 greatest guitar players only had TWO women.

In college my roommate and I decided to throw a generalized “winter” party. We cut out paper snowflakes, put Christmas lights everywhere, holiday colored jello shots, etc. We had about 50 people in our tiny apartment, had an awesome party, cops came, people had to leave, yada yada yada...

So it is Christmas eve and I am sitting around the fire with my family. My parents’ house smells like mulled cider and is decorated in all its seasonal splendor. My phone rings and it is my on and off again ex-boyfriend! Things had ended badly with us and he wanted to reconcile! I was on could nine… Swoon!

By “Holiday” do you mean the Good Friday when I hooked up with super hot Alex? Or the Easter Sunday when I met him at the family brunch and learned he was my dad’s half-sister’s son?

Mine was a quasi-hookup, but bear with me. These dudes who lived together in a house while attending college were close-knit so they had a “post-Christmas” in February, in one of the dudes’ ranch in the countryside. I was invited by my BFF, one of the dudes’ girlfriends, and I was newly single, so I went. There was…

And why were the parents targeted? What happened to the Mother? Has any of the old evidence been tested for DNA? What does the girlfriend say now?

Seeing people who have callously committed horrific acts on other people start to cry when forced to take (some) responsibility for their conduct always makes me hate them even more.