All neighborhood children need to know, maybe then they'll stop climbing my fence and start fucking each other.

Especially when you only stopped at 4:25.

He's just testing her advanced body forcefield, like any gentleman would.

That DOES help with freshness.

I guess that "grabbing them wherever you want" thing isn't applicable if your fame is minor and localized.

She seems tall.

Better wait on that large Coke, Dave.

At least he saved that $1.

Hopefully, Pornhub, so I'd be made aware.

Best episode of Impy and Chimpy you'll ever see.

I'd settle for enough to go buy the king size hot sauce from the grocery store.

Thank you.

See, that ones really up to you.

That's why you never say anything memorable.

Where do I go for breaking condiment news, kind sir?

I kinda figure me not going with the Kinja will be like me leaving real parties; no one really notices, until they wonder why they haven't had to refill the cheese plate in over an hour.

North fans ruin everything. Just pick some parents, already!

If I get to watch him land, I'll consider it. I've only seen people fly twice.

The guy with the half empty bottle went $7,495, in case someone was being value conscious.

That's the split that yields the most value.