Stopped clocks and all that. She’s a terrible dumpster fire of a human being who was perfectly willing to shill her husband’s racist conspiracy theories on television and she whatever she reaps, it is neither more nor less than what the bitch has sown.

Nah. At this point, I don’t care about whether she leaves him or why. She’s every inch the trash bigot her tiny-handed husband is, she has made her bed, and she is welcome to lie in it for all eternity.

That the gates of hell really are locked from the inside.

That is so true, and it REALLY makes me hope that Kamilah is in the Bad Place. Like, the actual Bad Place, with exploding butt-spiders.

Hey there, fellow former-Mormon! I think your conception of how it works on this show is great and I really hope it’s true, and that Hell isn’t really Hell, so much as school.

Milk is pretty, but she isn’t a Looks Queen, neither does she really have the talent to be a Talent Queen. So what is she?

Milk bores me to tears. We get it: you’re cute out of drag! But as time wore on in her season, it became clear that she wasn’t actually that innovative, in part because she was so unwilling to integrate the judges’ critiques.

I was SO PROUD to see how Aja is no longer such a busted bitch. She has grown! She is fierce! She has a chin!

So was I! But I was also pleased. I think Ben sent her home not because she was the strongest, but because Morgan had said that’s what she would do, and Ben was just put off by it.

I would have preferred for Jughead to find out, be all outraged, and then learn that everyone on the South Side already knew, and that for all his talk and his stupid leather jackets and his bullshit outrage, he didn’t know the story (and about existing forms of resistance and memory in the community) because he’s…

It’s like they’ve forgotten she’s a minor and that this all ends with a child pornography charge.

If anything, we should have had more homoerotic wrestling sequences. Maybe some of Kevin and Archie’s practice sessions?

I’m assuming it’s now being run by the same people who ruined Sleepy Hollow.

Alice’s excessive amounts of breakfast was weirdly heartwarming. She wants SO BADLY to be a good parent, but she gets it so terribly, terribly wrong.

I would love a proper Cheryl-centric episode, in the style of a 1940's gothic thriller. Like, her mom gets a sugar daddy who moves them into a new mansion, but something is just a little...off about him, so she teams up with Betty (Queen of the Snoops) to find his basement full of dead bodies or whatever.

I know you’re joking, but I would actually be fascinated by Chick and Mrs. Blossom teaming up for an Internet Sex Business. Perhaps after Hal throws him out, and he moves in Chez Blossom? Cheryl, sick of All This Shit, moves in with Josie.

Seriously! I would have loved for Chic, when he finds out Betty also has the same palm scars, to sit her down and be like “Look. You grew up in this nice family, with bank accounts and health insurance and shit, and you are not going to throw away the resources I would have killed for when I aged out of foster care.…

Bingo!

Right? We’ve never gotten any sense of the Serpents as being indigenous, or that the South Side was segregated along those lines, and we’ve had enough time with those characters that it shouldn’t really be news. This whole thing is a mess, and it’s like the writers don’t even care enough about the world they’ve…

Right? Child pornography is a FELONY, y’all. If Betty and Chic are similarly Dark (whatever that means), maybe have her make other self-destructive choices that don’t involve the Sex Offender Registry.