You’re not crazy. There are bits of the south that are shit, and bits that aren’t. Also, barbecue, milder winters, and Cheerwine!

Such cute puppers! Jealous.

I have no idea. I wash my towel once a week.

Oh, shit! I mean, I have been depressed lately, but I figured it was just getting dumped and not sleeping well. BRB, gonna make a dr’s appointment just to be on the safe side!

That’s hilarious! It’s also giving me flashbacks to the worst haircut I ever had in high school, from a very studious male stylist who did not talk AT ALL because he was concentrating so hard. Imagine Jennifer Lopez circa Jenny From the Block—then imagine her generic brand K-Mart cousin. It was a dark time.

That is so true. Much though I love body positivity (because shame sucks), sometimes I just don’t feel terribly positive about my body, and I want that to be okay too. It’s bullshit to not love yourself, and then feel like you’re doing it wrong for not loving yourself enough.

I love this whole thing so much. I can get really caught up in this idea that I ought to do things a certain way to prove I’m not uptight—like trying to keep my natural hair texture to prove I haven’t been consumed by Eurocentric standards of beauty/am a real Black woman—but I also just want to do what I want without…

I would recommend Rachel Bloom’s “Friendtopia” from Crazy Ex Girlfriend—it is a pitch perfect Spice Girls anthem with a touch of Stalinist flair.

Twitter is where I talk about the Great British Bake Off and find out about lesbian adventure novels where women don’t die—I can’t give it up! Also, @dog_rates.

Anyone have tips/suggestions for cultivating a fuller bush? I’ve been growing mine for a while now, but it’s looking sparser than I remember.

This is the thing I go back and forth about. I shaved for about ten years starting in the early 2000s, mostly because I hit puberty and was DEEPLY AFFRONTED that this hair just started showing up without my damned permission. Then I got older, and realized I didn’t want to feel like I was somehow ashamed of being a…

I only buy full fat yogurt (if I can find it). How did you get started making your own?

Two can be reasonable, I think, provided you give yourself enough time for either date to go well—so, say, early drinks at 6 and then late drinks at 8 or 9. But this was pure douchiness.

Right? It’s perfect! I would say I’m down for cuddles and chat, but I don’t trust right now so I bounce pretty early.

Excellent! I’ll have Frobisher bring up the large set of deck chairs.

Seriously! Apparently he tried to argue that he cares about his time because he’s a project manager. IT IS NEVER A GOOD USE OF YOUR TIME TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THINGS.

Never trust a rules lawyer. They will never behave with integrity.

From personal experience, I can say that no, men in DC really are such massive fucking cunts.

What a charming photo of us! So glad you caught me on a good hair day.

Perfect! I’ll make up a pot of tea, and we can sit on the patio to watch the lights of the nuclear war that will consume us all.