“Work late” or “sudden illness.” Don’t specify the illness, although you could say something about how your stomach has been bothering you for a few days, and you might throw up at any given moment. Which may in fact not be a lie, after all.

She won the popular vote, though, so nope.

She got more votes than he did.

It’s funny because she won the popular vote anyway.

I feel so stick to my stomach about everything.

The House. The Senate. The Justices.

I’ve been dizzy all day and I just want to hug HRC.

I had severe PTSD from the debates and now I just want to lay down under my desk and cry.

Same in Florida. Fuck everyone of them and their ‘protest vote’.

The margin of victory for Trump in Michigan and Wisconsin was less than the total of Jill Stein voters in both sates. If those precious little babies had simply voted strategically the “meaning” we are all about to start deriving from this shit-show would have been radically different.

As I’m comforting my Muslim spouse as she sobs about what this means for her, I don’t have time for nausea. I just want her to be okay. I want to live in a place where an interfaith lesbian couple with disabilities aren’t seen as the enemy. I’m tired of our lives hanging in the balance every goddamn election because…

“I voted for Clinton but regret it because someone who works for her used to be married to someone who texted a picture of his junk to my teenaged daughter and she maybe checked her email once on her husband’s computer. Hillary didn’t know anything about any of this until last week, and she has never mentioned my…

Her conscience demands she vote for a policy-illiterate dipshit who thinks quantitative easing can pay for college and goes on Kremlin-funded junkets, and whose running mate entertains every truther conspiracy theory he can lay hands on. Heaven forbid such a pristine conscience be sullied by, y’know, voting for a…

“Conscience” voters are the anti-vaxxers of elections - they really don’t want one outcome, but they’re relying on the protection of other peoples’ actions.

Someone, I forget who, noted that this “voting my conscience” bullshit is the exact opposite of conscientious behavior. Conscience is what makes you serve the greater good by doing things that may or may not actually be personally gratifying to you.

“I have zero respect for anyone who feels their own high and mighty Facebook bragging rights take precedence over the needs of so many others.”

If you’re a Sanders supporter, and he is a Clinton supporter, shouldn’t you currently be supporting the excutive branch candidate that he thinks will best help him accomplish his legislative branch goals?

Recently heard this from a trump voter, who tried to reassure me that trump presidency won’t literally flush America down the toilet.

Thanks. I really appreciate it. It’s just been hard — well, it was always going to be hard, but harder since I moved overseas and couldn’t be there with him at the end. But I came home for a few days and got to see him then, and my parents were there. And he was a good boy. A sweet, sleepy, magical pup. If he were…

We just lost our sweet love, after sixteen years of cuddles, hamming it up for fortune cookies, and blatantly misunderstanding the purpose of screen doors. We never dressed up as a giant squirrel, but the real ones outside the window always gave him joy after gnawing on stuffed plush ones.

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

All these men are too emotional to be President.

Oh please let’s win the House. I can’t stand eight more years of Congress refusing to actually do any work.