I have a real problem with this paragraph:

Might make an excellent SNL sketch....

I want Weird Al to turn out to be my long lost brother. Seriously I have one....somewhere....

Derr, the best Pumpkin beer is the one you pull out of a fall mix pack and throw in the trash. Everyone knows this....

Sorry you had to go to Fall River. At least the smack there is good....Did you get any smack?

WOULD

“The best I could do was to keep a written log of every transaction personally, but if I forgot something or made a math error, I was screwed.”

Because he was wearing a Patriots jersey when it happened or for some legitimate reason?

My thoughts exactly. If it hurt so much then there should be a nice swollen insect bite to take a picture of. Pics or it didn't happen old man!

“Do Sonny and Cher still have that stupid show together?”

Albert, I am asking for your permission to take this piece and translate it, or at least annotate it, so it can be read by stupid people. It is a very good piece explaining how shit our country is, and I would like to share with Democrat and Republican friends alike, but there are too many complex sentences and…

Ray Lewis killed a guy, and still had a career after. And Gary Glitter (serial pedo)'s Rock and Roll still blares over loudspeakers in some NFL stadiums. They REALLY don't give two shits, so long as the money is rolling in, and that will never stop.

The oposing team’s shoe laces are too long! The other QB’s helmet isn’t regulation! The turf on this field is not soft enough!

ESPECIALLY Republicans calling it out. Free Market Bro! Then they will expect the NFL do it for free after they pan paying for it....

Please review their schedule. Broncos might be the only tough game they have this year, provided Manning doesn't break his spine before they meet. Then its the AFC playoffs, again, kind of a joke. Not to mention that Tom and Bill are hell bent on dominating the league with no mercy this year. Up 30+ points Jimmy G…

No, just "generally aware" of "possible cheating"...more than likely that is.

Gauntlet

Paulaner Oktoberfest is available year round, which is amazing to me. I love this style of beer and I'm glad at least one compamy make sit available for longer than a couple of months.

I find it sad that Kris Jenner is the most attractive of all the Kardasian women. Her genes do not mingle well with anyone it seems....