I have that problem with caffeine. One cup of coffee will perk me up. Two will make me a jittery, sleepy mess. It’s why I mostly stick to tea, which has less.

I never made it to nationals, but I still have trauma over the word “carillon”. My mother’s name is Carolyn, and I got so confused when I heard the word because I thought they were saying my mom’s name and I didn’t know why. I spelled it wrong, naturally. It was the word that lost me the bee - there were just two of…

I googled it and got this:

That is pretty much exactly what I was picturing. For slutty religious clothing, not your wedding. I pegged you more as “ludicrous black ballgown in a graveyard”.

Wait, people don’t know that? It only took me like 2 parsecs to learn that. ;)

When I had difficulty with my daughter’s school not taking some harassment seriously, I printed off the relevant portions of the school district policies and brought them in. “I would like to know how you plan to address this issue as per section 4, paragraphs 7-9 of the district policy.” They pay attention really…

Wait. The premise of that article is that the rape-porn-gif-spam was all YOUR fault, because apparently no one else at Gawker Media had any say over dealing with that? Are you the President Empress of Gawker? Will you follow me plx????

My dad’s answer to “But where do you get your morals from?” was “Same place as you: books that people wrote.” He’d just chosen books that didn’t have omnipotent characters.

My MIL wore a racy red dress to her youngest son’s wedding, but that was because he got married in the SLC Temple and so she wasn’t allowed in. So she swished around Temple Square in it.

I am totally that guy.

*copies this gif to use forever*

oh my god if I’m ever teaching again I want your kid in my class.

I had to quit my RHPS cast when we moved to a theater half a mile from the school I worked at. One parent sees me as Magenta and my job goes poof. (I was even the drama teacher, come on.)

The Birthgrave is one of my very favorite books. So strange and disturbing. So many questions left unanswered.

My ex was a big fan of moving the planchette (and then denying he moved it) in order to fuck with people. He convinced one poor girl that she’d contacted the spirit of her miscarried child. He is an awful, awful person.

Um excuse me you missed the best one

I always thought his name was actually Beau, and it was a pun. Because it sounds like “bow” and he’s She-Ra’s boyfriend?

Funny, I was raised in a completely atheist home. I took baths with my brother until we were about 6 or 7. And yet SOMEHOW we managed not to ever molest each other. It’s almost like morality is independent of religion!

I’m guessing you didn’t read the book. His suit monitor is damaged and his crew think he’s died when they’re forced to evacuate.

My GPS hates downtown Seattle. I don’t know if it’s the buildings or what, but it will randomly change the directions it’s giving me or tell me to turn onto a street I’m already on. Or one that’s parallel to the one I’m on, but 4 blocks away!