Haha wow I can’t believe this made it on here. This was a friend of a friend. Half my Facebook feed is people in Thousand Oaks reposting this. It’s an awful small town for 200,000 people.

I was at a sandwich place one time and the lady asked if I wanted “pepper cheese”. I was like sure, pepper jack, why not?

This is basically what I said at the pharmacy every time I was surprised by my zero copay.

I’ve got a great stylist now, but if she moves any further away I’m gonna be unhappy.

I thought raw onions were a delightful snack as a kid. Then one day onions started making me sick. I miss onions. :(

Yes! It’s like what crazy universe did I fall into? People don’t do that!

If you were my stepson, you’d sneak out of your bedroom in the middle of the night and eat all the ice cream in the fridge, then pass out on the couch amid cartons of melted ice cream dregs.

I was a giraffe.

Your first part sounds exactly like my husband. He also thinks tomatoes taste like snot and won’t eat them. And he hates mushrooms. He’s ok with ketchup, though.

I read somewhere that when you introduce solids, don’t give the kid any fruit for like 3 months. Or they expect food to be sweet. Also that breastfed babies are less likely to be picky because breast milk tastes slightly different depending on what mom eats, while formula tastes the same all the time unless it’s…

My stepson had an aversion to green that was so powerful, when I made him take one single bite of lettuce he immediately vomited all over the table. Fortunately he’s improved a lot, but it took getting diagnosed with both celaic disease and diabetes to do it.

That’s why I can’t eat Twinkies or minestrone.

Yeah, if you don’t like a few individual foods, that’s normal. My husband hates tomatoes and mushrooms. I hate peas and lima beans. But we’ll both happily chow down on a plate of roasted brussel sprouts. I used to hate garbanzo beans and avocado, but now I like them just fine. Your tastes do change, so you might as…

omg I want to slap the shit out of that kid.

My technique has been to divide the offending food into two clearly unequal portions, and then tell the kid to choose which one to eat. They think they’ve put one over on me by choosing the smaller one.

Woooowww that sounds so familiar. Do you also get the screaming, sobbing, telling you that YOU are “overreacting”? Whenever you calmly draw a boundary? It’s like how do you do that with a straight face??

That ... actually sounds a little like me. Yikes. I need to work on that.

It wasn’t nice, or productive, but it felt good.

Every time I think she’s finally gotten the point and I might want to talk to her ... she does something horrible again. She’s elevated “passive-aggressive” to an ART form.

My MIL is the only person in possibly the whole world who says “bless your heart” and actually means it, without any hint of shade. I think I could stab a dude and she’d say “Well, I am sure he deserved it and I really like that knife you used!”