I’ll do some napkin math using the numbers in here. If you divide 10.3 billion by 30 (admittedly unfair, since the Yankees, Dodgers, Red Sox, and Cubs probably make more combined than the bottom 15 teams combined, but again, napkin math) it totals to 343,333,333 per team.

This whole ‘not answering his phone’ thing has to be made up. So what if the GM doesn’t answer his phone, there is an Assistant GM and lots of other front office folks he could have spoken with. Did they also not answer their phones? Were they not available too? It’s not like Magic Johnson made Demps’ aides disappear.

I was SYMPATHETIC to Rogen and his crew, but I WANTED to have a life that looked more like Heigl and Bibb. And I’m a dude who was in his mid-twenties when this came out too!

Anyways, I’m mostly joking about R. Kelly. I am an expert karaoker with a very finely tuned karaoke setlist that I can tailor to any audience in order to get maximum crowd pleasing. But my actual serious point is that, in the R. Kelly or Louis CK situation it’s very easy to step away from something that is unethical.…

Which is basically my point! We are all complicit. It is literally impossible to be an ethical consumer. Somewhere, in EVERY supply chain imaginable, you are directly giving money to someone involved in slave labor or something incredibly horrible, whether you are aware of it or not. Sometimes, it is easier to give up…

Say, which NFL team do you root for?

He’s morphing into Ben Roethlisberger...

Now listen up, you troglodytes. You’re going to come at me about how this totally erases the OBVIOUS RAMPANT SEXISM. As if the sexism that Ellie faced was un-sexism because it was a guy all along. And as if it wasn’t still wholly indicative of the experience that women face trying to enter esports.

As a Spurs fan, I’m not even mad Harden willed this one out. This is one fucking phenomenal display of basketball tonight. And he wasn’t chipping away to that 44 with undeserved free throws; dude turned a 20-point deficit against a dynastic team into goddamn NBA JAM catch up AI. What a goddamn game to watch tonight,…

Let’s see, you don’t play online games, you very clearly do not tell jokes for a living, and you don’t understand that not everyone who points out that you’re a self-serious crybaby online is a Russian troll.  What else do you not do?

Well, I’ll tell you what’s not funny: you

the centrists are not standing up to a president rapidly advancing us towards actual, non-exaggerated fascism.

The majority of the party is to the right of Pelosi. There were no viable candidates for speaker to her left. It isn’t ego. She’s herding cats, keeping the Democrats in order. Yes, she’s old and her time is (nearly) past. The Progressive movement must depend on old liners like Pelosi to help carry it. She is a…

Because on Splinter, if you aren’t ALL the way to the New Left, you're basically Reagan. 

For the far left, anyone who thinks civility in politics is a good thing and/or thinks questions like “How can we get this done?” and “How will we pay for this?” are valid questions, is described as a “centrist” or “DINO.”

It’s strange that you decided to repeatedly use footage of a meeting in which Pelosi and Schumer gave Trump nothing and provoked him into claiming responsibility for the shutdown in a video where you accuse them of being feckless and conciliatory toward Trump. Did you have this written ahead of time and just not…

The problem with the new school progressives is that they have lofty expensive goals, but don’t seem to understand how it’s going to be paid for which has them share a trait with the morons who want to cut taxes (that benefit the ultra wealthy) but yet still increase spending on the right.

You must have really hate going to the movies, huh?

I am trying to dredge up a good reason to care about this. Was I promised an over engineered glitter bomb? Yep. Did I get an over-engineered glitter bomb? Yep. I watched the video, I enjoyed the video and then I forgot the video. Removing those segments doesn’t really change that.  If some people are butt hurt about…

But it worked in Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook!