I was glad he was the one to retire Andy Roddick. He won the match, but stepped back to let A-Rod take all the applause.

He just got another fan in me, that’s for sure.

“Retire” like from his working life. AARP card, grey hair, time share in Florida, tiny yappy dog, pants that belt just below his nipples, eating dinner at 4pm, all that.

No, it’s cool. I was actually wanting to cry along with a grown man this morning. Thanks.

Unfortunately, this will only be the second most devastating withdrawal from Paris today.

For any non-tennis fan readers who aren’t familiar with Del Potro, yes he is the best. The. Best.

Officer: Do you understand what I’m asking you to do?

big idiot’s beef

they’re playing Sunday same place 10:10 am

This was right down the street from me. If I would have known, I would have gone and heckled the shit out of him.

My dad wears big dogs. He also wears Costco jeans. He’s also not allowed to be seen in public with me.

Jealous because you can’t afford the $220 slides? THEN YOU AINT A BIG BALLER

Yeah I always associated that look with one of their competitors

His over-inflated ego.

Man I hate slides so much. Why do they get a pass when they are almost as ugly as Crocs and way less functional?

The Big Ballers might’ve been a respectable name for a Hoop It Up team in 1993. It might’ve been...

Way to land that one in the least-PC damaging way. We were all thinking it.

He is actually a Trump supporter. No, not kidding.

7. Backed over by said bus

8. Range Game

Fuck this guy. Who starts chants for themselves?