2 questions:

Thou shalt count to three hundred. No more. No less. Three hundred shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three hundred. Four hundred shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two hundred, excepting that thou then proceed to three hundred. Five hundred is right out. Once the…

I live by train tracks, they don’t have dicks

Uh, well, ah, there’s like another universe where I didn’t confuse them. That’s where I’m posting this from. Bernie Sanders is President, and we successfully stopped global warming in time to save the weather as people in your universe used to know it.

More like he rode the emasculator, amirite?

You’re overthinking this. Just play the national anthem.

Lauren, send some Deadspin staffers to do some investigative journalism. Pull the fire alarm and see if he makes it out on foot.

I think all the E60s are aging well, they still look good and not too dated. I think I would’ve been happy with a 550, preferably an xi for the AWD, but I couldn’t pass up what might be my only chance in life to own a V10 before they’re gone. Plus I figured I’d spend so much money on mods (my weakness) that I might as…

I have the little brother to your car & engine, and also love it.

I’ve put 90,000 miles on modern BMWs and today I found myself in the death spiral of flicking the turn signal back and forth trying to get it to shut off. Easier just to ignore that it’s there and use the throttle to accelerate directly in front of others.

Trump didn’t realize the biggest problem with building the wall was that the illegal aliens could just levitate over it.

I feel lucky being gen-X wing.

Right? Like in a giant fucking galaxy, everything revolves around like three families. It’s like Dallas on a giant scale.

Those pictures remind me of being in middle-school sex ed, and they show you weird pictures of anatomy that are excessively detailed, and you’re kind of aroused, but also confused and a bit frightened.

Wow, that may have been the best compliment anyone has ever said to me on the internet ever. Thank you!

I said it wasn’t a part of Texas heritage not history. Also, if you’re worried about historical accuracy it should be the white flag of surrender.

Richmond, Virginia checking in, and that would be negative. Although, some of my family may disagree...Guess who didn’t get invited to Christmas this year? I’m going to Brazil tomorrow, for two weeks, for the Holidays to see some Brazilian friends in Sao Paulo and I AM HYPE!

Jason Isbell is great too.