I am a teacher (High school math, formerly English and History), and I cannot find this amusing. I remember being 9 and getting mad when a teacher was wrong. Germany isn’t landlocked Mrs. Hampton!

The “OK” knocked me out. It has to be the the step child of “I said what I said” This child is COMPLETELY unbothered by his teacher. It’s fabulous. And I have been trying to find a way to articulate what my mood for 2018 is and this child found it for me.

Also, “Crunchy-sock Twitter”

Seriously. We should all be thanking these dudes (and the dolls’ creators) for removing themselves from the dating pool. No need for any woman to waste ANY amount of time - minutes or years - with these fools who clearly have no interest in anyone but themselves.

Dangit! Take your star you beautiful person

I honestly lost the ability to detect sarcasm.

And also, it’s going to put off the Norwegians.

Yeah, we can have people reckless treating people. What if his patients are on Medicaid?

Don’t know about you folks, but I feel safer with this menace off the streets.

Pro-tip to the fucknuts at ICE: Picking up a 40+ year old white doctor with two decades-old legal dings is not going to make you look any less racist and is definitely not making you look like you’re out there rounding up ‘bad hombres’.

EVERYTHING is about Mimi’s boobs.

“Don’t wanna go down that road right there. ‘Bout a year ago a journalist was crushed under a pile of loot boxes down that road.”

“Hey Herb, whaddya reckon’d be the most blatantly evil thing Konami could do with Metal Gear?”

A fast...”Google?” What is that? As I see it, there is no way to tell for sure what country is the most dangerous. How is anyone to know? Do you think that someone seriously went around to every country around the world and documented crime? No one even knows exactly how many countries there are, so how can any…

Every time an employee schedules a day off, but then he calls them in does he say, “I have altered the deal, pray I do not alter it any further.”

No, what they say is find me a politician that doesn’t lie. Laugh, and call me a libtard. At which point I say he is a pathological liar. They then go on to say Hillary, bleh, gurgle.

Jeeezus people, how hard can it be? You set up an Amazon Web Services account with the AmEx Sheldon gave you, push the site content to S3, enable CloudFront with the trumpsfakenews.com domain Joey got off Sedo with the Mercer Visa, and...

But the BEST faker of all is....

It was the

So I go to a coffee shop every day to read a hard copy of the news paper... A manager ( who I’ve witnessed being a dick) there has a ring-tone of the Imperial March from Star Wars. Every time I hear it all I can think is that he is a giant douche... It let’s everyone know that he is one to be reckoned with... And…