That’s a very weird way of saying “Drink many beers”.

All I want is for the mall to be half-empty this Friday, and for every news channel to pan out and show us that people didn’t show up. Please.

If I had at least $4 million to spend on my wedding, I would do something additional with my hair...

I live in Atlanta. Y’all can come and hang out at my house if you want.

“I’m watching you too, Bill”

Victoria Beckham has always been much sharper and more self-aware than people give her credit. The reality TV show she filmed when she and Becks moved to LA in 2007 is a comedic treasure.

Also, Trump is a lunatic WITH ACCESS TO MORE THAN 7,100 NUCLEAR WARHEADS, 1,400 OF WHICH ARE ACTIVELY DEPLOYED AND AVAILABLE TO BE LAUNCHED.

The haberdasheries are all out of haberdash!

Why would all of the celebrities coming to DC purchase their dresses in the city? I mean, most of them probably live in places like NYC and LA; wouldn’t they purchase their dresses in their hometowns, and then bring them to DC? Some many questions....

Is Meryl our God now? I thought it was still Cher? Gay religion is so confusing...

But let’s all remember how corrupt Hilary is, with her email mismanagement and her charity—the one with high ratings from watchdog organizations. Good thing we dodged that bullet, huh?

Stupid hat? Check.