Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

What do you mean by “Hyper Specific”?

Nonhumans for Hillary Clinton! When she wins, you know he is gonna say voting machines conspired against him

There is more patriotism in this one act than a million flag lapel pins.

Seriously, Tom, can you guys please fucking focus on what really matters: did he stand respectfully during the pledge of allegiance or not?

Jerry needs to remind the players not to wear their jerseys while they’re beating women.

lordy did an omelette kill your parents or something

That’s not how to get to first base with a girl.

Eh, I'm sure when the big moment comes the Seahawks will probably pass.

“Whatever we decide to do will be a big surprise”

That seat was reserved for the 4th place trophy.

@AleBedoya17 call me a coward - I dare you lol - just play better please - I really don’t have time for this today - too busy filming cuckold series for pornhub

I stay invested because I am a good citizen and I love my country, but I guess not everyone is like that.

But the commentators always tell me Michael Bradley is our best player, not some slap dick, slow, turnover machine constantly playing out of position.

Dear Lord: please keep Pulisic free of injury and the MLS. Amen.

You comment is covered with too much beard and flannel for me to read properly.

The New York Post covered this story this morning, but their headline said: Typical Millennial Asks For A Free Ride

So did she go with the basket of hamsters this time or the usual bushel basket of grubs?

Pep, meet no pep

I’m pretty certain they’ve also had Craig James, who killed five hookers while at SMU, on that network as well.