Because you can’t publish a million posts that read, “LeBron James is guaranteed to do the obvious thing and stay with his team.”

I love the implicit assumption that the only fans of the original movie were male.

Is that now required, for some stupid reason.

It’s not. This is Jezebel. Whinging about constantly picking up one night stands then lacking intimacy as if it’ll magically manifest in that situation (and considering it a curse somehow??) and how it’s not your fault/caused by your own direct actions at all, then wrapping it up in a ton of incredibly pretentious…

I mean, where else would he learn to swap first and last names.

Then why did you click on this article? That was a promotion, and your personal choice. Again, I get your point. I think everyone does. I’m suggesting maybe you’ve missed the underlying point made via humor.

If everyone just takes the ostrich approach to everything that they don’t like, this world would be way more fucked than it already is. So great job suggesting devolution! Ignoring discourse is just a good way to tacitly allow a lot of bad shit in this world to fester and prosper...fuck all that. I’d respond to that…

So after days of GUN LAWS GUN LAWS GUN LAWS! MOAR MOAR MOAR! This dude goes to jail for breaking what gun laws we already have...but it’s all good cuz he’s hawt? Sounds about right. <eyeroll>

Fuck every single thing about these articles. It’s not funny, it’s not clever, it’s not insightful. Between this and your constant overbearing need to prove how much more whatever you are than Iggy Azalea, you repeatedly out yourself as an asshole.