With age comes wisdom - and senility.

Mine stems from my mom and is more about when I learned to drive stick.

There are a fixed number of running Volkswagens. If you get one running another (in proximity) shall stop running.

I once had 14 VW’s between myself and 3 other friends, this theory has become gospel.

Yeah if they would broadcast college football games I would be in. I only watch one per weekend so it would be great for me. Most of the time my team is on ESPN anyway. Does it support Chromecast?

Destiny’s Child even half as bad as Destiny’s Child

Can you imagine being a six-year-old kid, watching Twister for the first time, and seeing Bill Paxton drive up in that thing?

I went into a Kia dealer a couple weeks ago for service on my Optima. I was offered a test drive on a Stinger, and I had to forcefully decline because I don’t want to find out how easy to is to impulse buy a car.

TRUMP: I can’t believe you did this, Michael. I’ve said it before—we have to be more careful with the cyber.
COHEN: ...What?
TRUMP: The tapes. They’re part of the cyber ...no?
COHEN: No, they’re...
TRUMP: But email is.
COHEN: Email is, in a way, yes.
TRUMP: Part of the cyber. So what are tapes?
COHEN: They’re just...tapes.…

ADVISORY: ForwardPants is a bargain-basement shitposter who just learned the c-word and is positively tickled about it. Do with that what you will.

It has more of a chance as a PC exclusive title that isn’t trying to fully integrate itself with the EVE universe. They had to make so many allowances for the PS3 and for the EVE connectivity in Dust that it put a real dent in performance.

I feel better about that case of wine I kept a few years back. Possibly the best thing that could accidentally get delivered.

And copied 2010 Sonata side and hood.

Fantastic reporting, Ryan. Give ‘em hell.

Gas in Texas is both cheap and FRESH.

I’m spoiled by DFW $2.30 gas

Just experienced my first Spring break as a dad. Working on a good list of my own:
1) No, you can’t just sit inside and watch cartoons all day.
2) It has not been an hour. We literally left the house 5 minutes ago.
3) Think about what you want to eat for lunch. (2 hours later) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW?! I told you…

Lovers of the chain’s chicken have ether forgotten about that earlier controversy or don’t care

If you can’t afford a way to secure your gun, you probably shouldn’t buy the gun.

People who live with kids and don’t lock their guns up are negligent and it’s awful how many tragedies they cause.