Wait is this all still part of his “Maybe I should run for president?” bid?

You mean Scott Mitchell to Herman Moore wasn’t enough of a glimmer for you?

Firemajerle.com is more like it. I’m the sucker here, not Cody.

Sports aren’t fun. I don’t know why I waste so much time on this shit.

And the speech was Clumsy!

Hey Albert, remember that time a year ago when you told me Isaiah Thomas was a better player that Jimmy Butler by a significant margin?

“Watch my back!”

I always assumed the Pelicans are broke. The crossover hires seem like a cost-saving manuever. How else do you end up playing in the “Smoothie King Center?”

The videos are electric!

He’s a baseball player. He plays for the Angels, I think.

Soccer people are fucking unbearable.

OH GREAT, another berth. Just what the Rivers household needs!

This Deadspin/Harry Potter relationship is weird.

Of all the norms and traditions that Donald Trump has defiled, this is one of the ones I’m not up in arms about.

I spent the whole match explaining to my idiot Liverpool friends that 1) Yes, Pickford is the best goalkeeper in England 2) He’s absolutely worth the £70m Liverpool wants to pay for him and 3) He’s way better than Alisson.

No, probably not.

Pickford was basically perfect all-game. What a disappointing and flukey way to lose.

The slot machines and tattoo parlors across the street from my kids’ pre-K school are a nice touch. So are the 400 used car dealerships up and down 251.

Never get married, my friend.