I reject your carburetor and substitute my own.

There is so much stupid going on there....

OK you’re one of those guys.

Did you hear about the hipster who burned his mouth on pizza? He ate it before it was cool.

How to get a job as a car salesman: Have a pulse and be willing to work open-to-close at least 5 days week, which will include weekends and holidays.

Note to all NCG’s and others who may be currently unemployed, this:

"I didn't ask 3k"...well there you go. :D

“Isn’t that a cute name, Voter? I just spoke with you; give me $300,000.”

This belongs on the side of a creeper van.

You only think so. There’s a whole world of shittiness between the old Grand Am at the local buy-here-pay-here and a Lloyd, Peel, or the other treasures found in the Lane.

"So there I was with Igor Sikorsky..."

I haven’t seen NBC so thirsty since Brian Williams was choosing which helicopter to ride in.

As Cynthia’s better half, let me add on that we did say that we would go to another VW. And when we called that other VW, they also told us no test drives. No VW dealership within 30 miles of us will let people test drive the Golf R.

However, I test drove a Focus ST instead, and that’s what I’m getting myself. She’s…

Yeah you tackle some drunk woman on the side of the road at 2am see how that works out for you. Idiot.

You wanna be arrested/sued for touching a woman without her permission?

I'm picturing an epic scene. De Niro as Enzo. Joe Pesci as Ferruccio Lamborghini.

Enzo: Are you lookin' at me? You think I'm gonna sell one of MY cars to a fuckin' tractor salesman? You gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!"

Ferruccio: What? Am I some sort of clown to you? I'll go build my own fuckin' car and it'll beat your…

One of the best actors EVAR! Excellent choice!