And it will somehow lead to him owning your property if you believe him.

If Jeff Lowe said it, assume it's a lie....

Joe definitely misused his money for cars and his campaign 

Also maybe she doesn’t celebrate or have much family? There’s a lot of reasons she could be doing it. 

It wasnt like Joe was living high on the hog. His house wasnt much of a step up from his employees.

Filming for the next season of Great British Bake Off has been delayed

I bet he thinks so.

That would be the panic part of panic buying

It provides the harsh, sandpapery friction on my genitals that I desire.

Wait, is this claiming that a self-selecting group of people who make claims to advanced intelligence turned out to be awful?

Every so often, I’m reminded of the existence of Chet Hanks and it’s momentarily disorienting.

I thought the same thing, but unlike the rest of you lazy bastards, I flew to Australia and did something about it.

Look what you did!

Everyone: “K-cups are the most wasteful innovation in the history of coffee.”

I know right? I’ve been a shirtless plumber for 16 years now and have only had 8 threesomes, and only 2 of them were with twin sisters! 

How do I cope with this? Obviously, a need of mine will be perpetually unmet. How do I keep myself from resenting her for not being more open-minded?

Honestly - if it was cheaper I’d pay him and just include a note that says “no video necessary.” But he’s $100 and I don’t have that kinda scratch to throw away.  If it were like $25 though … 

You don’t have to say “allegedly” overall crappy person. Even if you have to say Steven Seagal “allegedly” sexually harassed,propositioned, discriminated against, raped and assaulted a dozen+ women involved in his movie productions, and he “allegedly” killed a family’s puppy while pretending to be a cop for his vanity…

You missed a chance to say “Stick to sprouts!”