Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ in a Hula Skirt!

I’m the stupidly relevant person here on that issue. For years, I would have back pain here and there. Nothing too bad. Never even talked to a doctor about it because I was working 50-ish hours a week at a new car dealership as a tech. Also renovating my house at the time.

The experience to owning it was akin to eating at Applebee’s. It served its purpose, but no one is about to rave about it.

Growing up on a farm, we were huge loyalists to Chevrolet. Had nothing but GM products for years. That may have bitten my father in the bum.

Let’s step into the ol’ wayback machine for just a second. It was a simpler time, the very beginning of 2006. I was working for Acura at the time. The 2006 RL had a suite of safety technologies that was unheard of at that time. They were radar assisted Collision Mitigated Braking System (CMBS) and Active Cruise…

Well, holy balls! I stand corrected. 

During the summer of 02, my good friend from college was getting married. He lived in northwest Iowa, whereas I was living in northwest Ohio. It’s about a 17 hour drive from A to B.

Well, shit. He did me right with my “questionable reward.” Now I’m off to find these bad puns. 

Where TF is kaycog? For context, I have been light on Kinja for quite a bit, though. 

I really want to like this. But in the end, it’s a pre-OBDII German sport compact that can qualify for an antique plate. CP

As my first real car was a 1987 CRX Si, I am in peak nostalgia. But I gotta know, where in all that is holy did he get the die cast CRX? I need one of those, like now. 

The Highwayman did it better.

THIS is the holy grail. A clean, well kept diesel manual wagon. It ticks all 5 of the boxes. It should be a no-brainer.

“An Audi enthusiast for most of his life.”

Depends on the car and how much torque it has. Case in point, while I had learned to drive manual years before I got my license (grew up on farm; learn to drive stick about the same time you learn to walk), my first car on the highway was a Chevette. And it had NO torque at all. I had to rev up the engine quite a bit…

Cook your pasta in a skillet. Or high-sided saucier. And only use just enough water to cover it. Yes, you risk it sticking together. But with the little amount of water, it comes to boil fast. And just keep moving the pasta around for the first couple minutes. The best part? That pasta water is super starchy. Makes a…

I had to take our babysitter home recently. She’s just old enough to get a learner’s permit. When she got in my car and saw me shifting gears, she asked about driving a manual. Here is her response after I told her the basics:

Yep. I still do it. Poke my head at the windows to see if it’s a stick. And it’s a loss on the newer generation. When you’re on your spring break vacation, and the ax murderer starts chasing you, know that you dead now because they only car to escape the torture dungeon was that old ratty Corolla with a 5-speed stick.

12 individual throttle bodies that are cable stayed to the pedal. That must have been a real shitshow to have calibrated. 

I worked in Hyundai parts and would forget about the Veracruz. That is, until someone needed an interior door handle. I swear they make those fuckers out of paper. Could break with just eye contact.