Seriously. The amount of white friends who I’ve personally had tell me a combination of how horrible the song is/how the lyrics mean nothing/how it’s unlistenable/how Beyonce doesn’t understand what she’s doing/how unimpressed they were/casually forgot Beyonce is black is depressing.

Every newsoutlet I’ve read talks about the ‘everything is about us’ part, but my favorite part is by far:

I’m in my mid-40s and both of the Jr.TARDISes have hit adulthood (one last week! Yeah!). I’m ready to take on an entire fraternity - and then move to the university gym when I’ve exhausted them all (and then, perhaps, the closest NHL team). Trust me, IT DOES COME BACK. Boy, does it.

This is a well-written, thought-provoking article.

Absolutely agree. There seems to be an uptick in white fear and Fox news is at ground zero fanning the flames. I am a white, middle age, middle class male and I sometimes, in weaker moments, feel the fear. But then I realize that it is just change and change is a given in this life and there is good and bad with…

I mean, a couple hours earlier they had war planes shoot through the sky as the national anthem ended (as they always do, for every single super bowl), but let’s not get political or anything!!!!

“Hello. I’m a fossil. Kids these days, amirite?”

Have a seat, Rudy. Have several. Have the whole damn stadium full.

Ok. So I am a white Eastern European by origin who’s been to America like two times. And I felt empowered by that video and that performance - even if it has literally zero to do with me or my “struggle”.

How dare a talented, political black woman exist in full view of white people!!

I’m over crochetty old white people talking shit about Beyoncé and Cam Newton this morning. Dear fellow white people:

Somehow I don’t think “respect for police officers” is the answer to the whole police officers shooting unarmed citizens problem we have in this country. It’s kind of hard to respect an institution that keeps shooting your family, friends, and neighbors in the back on a regular basis. That’s just me though. I could be…

JFC

how “ridiculous” it was to have “a bunch of people bouncing around and all strange things.”

“Actually don’t even know why we have this. I mean, this is football,”

It’s solemn work, but it is my duty. I don’t WANT to eat all this buttery deliciousness and get drunk, but you’ve seen what’s out there. We cannot live in a world of fermented coconut and watercress smoothies alone.

In the interest of balance, I am going to rub a chicken with a paste of butter, garlic and smoked paprika, and roast it. I shall serve it with dumplings, Brussels sprouts, and bacon. And wash it down with wine.

This one time I ate a slice of pizza that had fallen behind my tv.

Literally not one interesting or important thing has ever happened, historically, before 11.30 AM. Stay the fuck in bed, people.