Number one: Take 5 bar. It would never, ever occur to you to purchase a Take 5 bar, I am sure. You've likely never tasted one. But when the dark hour arrives and you are standing over your child's plastic pumpkin full of treats, reach for the Take 5. They are simply delicious.

I refuse to believe that about Paul Maloof, or whatever his last name really is. I just refuse.

This is fucking hilarious. And it's the actress from Real Housewives of South Boston, which is also hilarious.