“Lest Trae Young have all the fun beating up on an atrocious winless defense, his rookie foil Luka Dončić also got his last night in a 115-109 Mavericks win over the Bulls. Setting aside the joy of pitting a 19-and 20-year-old in mortal competition for purely narrative and/or Hawks-shaming purposes, what if they’re…

Hey, fuck you, man. We love tacos.

+1 

No offense, but if you’re relying on the Texas Rangers vs Athletics, I wouldn’t be surprised when they’re way behind.

What? He basically says he already receives large sums of money and it’s not a problem, the issue is time and location flexibility.

I’m not saying money is not a factor, but for him more than anyone I think it’s the “not the money” stuff that comes with not having a 9 to 5 that is  a factor.

there’s a difference?

I really, really hope he has nicknamed his dick “the candlestick”

Agreed. I definitely think Brady could be a multisport athlete.

But when we use our 2021 pick to get a prospect who we can develop into Butler’s 2-man in a couple years, boy will you feel dumb!

-Vlade, probably.

“fuucckk... everryybody. Got it!”

-priest, taking notes.

Honestly, MCD is the only celebrity who I get legitimately sad about when I think that we will never get to see him again. Such a great loss.

No, no, no. He doesn’t have any courtroom experience. He needs to get a summer Clerk job for a conservative justice, THEN he can be a lifetime appointed judge. We have standards.

Remember, kids: Never Tweet.

This. If a lotus isn’t leaking, that means it’s empty.

Behind Mike Glennon when god was giving out hair.

If there’s ever a 250m range electric Hudson, I'll be first in line.

Yes, we went from a moderately effective asshole to an ineffective one, so I guess that could be construed as a positive?

As an unwilling constituent of Mr. Hunter’s extremely gerrymandered district which he was essentially gifted due to having his fathers name, all I have to say is: Good Riddance you Fucking Fuckface. Fuck You.

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal, additionally - their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognise it as…

The team has released a statement that they were unaware of Heimlich’s neice, but now that they’ve seen her face, they believe her.