Omg, i can just hear the backseat driving now.

“They’re known to burn oil, blow seals, make very little torque and above all, not do so hot on EPA fuel economy drive cycles.”

You think his life is hard? His little brother Rick O. hits the crossbar every goddamn time.

One time I shot my brother in the eye with a lego from a wrist rocket from like 50 feet away.

Except I wasn’t aiming for his eye, and then his eye filled up with blood and he got to stay home from school for like a week and I got grounded. So that probably doesn’t count.

I’m somewhat partial to the 2014ish hatchback style STI, but overall I think they’re all pretty ugly.

We can still fight if you want though. Or make out.

I think he was asking for the kid. And the answer is who cares, so long as he’s quiet.

way to kill the mood.

Honestly, it’s one of those things where I totally am fine with the idea of gayness, and he’s obviously a super good looking guy, but the idea of actually being physically intimate with him just does nothing for me.

Maybe if I hung out with him in person it would be different? I dunno. I just don’t get a charge from…

Oh, that’s totally true. It’s why all 30-40 year old sports cars go through a valuation bubble-the people who thought they were hot shit when they were growing up are at their maximum purchasing power.

That’s because it’s apparent from our writing styles that he doesn’t need the money but I do. You didn’t name him Eldridge because you think he lives in a van down by the river.

#THEPOWEROFTHESUBCONSCIOUSCANNOTBEDENIED

1) His name is Eldridge. He doesn’t need the money.

Truth. It’s section 3b par 3, right after the part which states that at least one of the first 3 comments on a post about something unexplained must contain the “aliens” guy meme.

I notice that the cat only “likes to swim” in the direction of the shore. Shennanigans.

What good is a ludicrous mode, Mr Musk.... if you are UNABLE TO GIGGLE????

Because who the fuck cares about money, apparently? Don’t ask me, we didn’t re-sign him for those very reasons.

Good for him. Ride the pine, eat your hamburgers, and collect those checks my big panda amigo. Thanks for the good years!

In this case, I have to say that Adidas was really trying to do us a favor.

If I were him, this would be framed above my mantle after I retired. That’s just so badass.

9835. Getting run over by two busses.

This is not very humerus.