I hope the resting starting pitchers sit somewhere in the stands and cheer/heckle.

How many WNBA couples are there? Seems like the league is an urban Lilith Fair festival

Vodka Sam: [swipes right]

They’re worse because the Cards fan is drinking soda at a baseball game.

Will also let them get another game out of Kris Bryant since it will be rescheduled after 12 days into the season.

It’s great that they got the jumbotron up for opening night, so fans could get their favorite players stats. .000 BA, 0 HR, 0.000 SLG, .000 OBP.

Did they remove the troughs in place of urinals? If so that would remarkable cut capacity and make the lines ridiculous.

The jurors are going to see right through he "I can't recall" strategy, because on cross examination by Hernandez's lawyers she is recalling, in detail, how their relationship started, phone calls, etc. from over a decade ago. She needs to give the defense some "I can't recalls" to maintain some credibility.

Are we sure she isn't Hitler dressed in homosexual-drag queen chic?

Me too. When I read,"banking one on Jason Maxiell's head", I thought he was a photographer sitting under the basket or something.

Unless you keep your cash under your mattress, your bank branch will have a cort sorting/counting machine and they won't skim the 9.8% or whatever it is.

"Bring your kids to the nursing home—but look out for them. A cute kid in the common room is like a baby wildebeest playing among a pride of lions. That shit can turn into a swarm before you know it."

It's like replacing the London Black Cabs with Camrys

Hasn't Jerry Jones already tampered with Adrian Peterson, so isn't that who the Cowboys are going to sign?

Looks like the keeper didn't set the wall properly though and let the wall get too big so that it obstructed his view of the kick.

Tom Costello doing his best Al Michaels impression.

So wouldn't the NBA, NHL, etc. all be in violation of Rule 40? Are there after the fact consequences (medal stripping), or will they not let you start the race if Nike were to run an ad with one of their competing athletes?

Not a mechanic story, but when I test drove an Escape Hybrid, I got in the car and notice the fuel gauge was below the line. I told the salesman it was almost out of gas, he said "it's a hybrid it doesn't need gas", I disagreed but we went on but he said we were fine. Ran out of gas a mile later then sat there…

You should talk about the change in poop when the kid's diet changes, and it goes from visually displeasing to olfactorily displeasing.

Defense Exhibit A: A copy of Eric Lindros' lawsuit, suing a poor ref for talking about him.