Ok all these movie titles are killing me but especially The White Gay Man With the Dragon Tattoo. That would just be such a different movie. A+ Bobby, thank you for your work.

“I spent $150 on eyeliner and cheeses”

I like the John Frieda. I got the shampoo and conditioner at ulta like buy one get one half off

Stila stay all day. It’s liquid, it has a pen tip, it stays put, and the tip comes to a nice fine point, so it’s really easy to control the thickness of your line. No sharpening!

Hahahaha A+. “Casper with rosacea” is my EXACT skin tone.

I don’t think Joy Behar has ever actually said anything funny. She’s insufferable.

Old Navy, actually!

DO IT

Have you heard of “Intuitive Eating?” It’s a book my therapist recommended. It talks about why diets fail and how to listen to your body. It’s really good, and actually research-based, not just bullshit someone pulled out of their ass. I’ve been working through it with my therapist and it’s changed like my whole…

I’ve seen it at Walgreens, but Sally Beauty usually has a better price. It’s not the cheapest, but it’s worth it.

Brb, barfing everywhere

Omg HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN. Seriously if 100 people I didn’t invite showed up to my wedding I’d tell them to get the fuck out. That is NOT OKAY.

::nods approvingly::

Of course miley has dreads.

Wtf even

Omg I remember vendettav! Hahaha

I think probably people are worried that you’re depressed or something if you don’t want to do anything special for your birthday? But I will tell you, for my most recent birthday, I didn’t really do much - just played video games all day, and had a nice dinner with my family - and it was the best birthday I’ve had in…

Ohhh I’ll have to try that one! I’m constantly searching for something that will hold a damn curl on my stubbornly straight lashes!

Turkey bacon is good if you want to feel like you’re eating dog treats

Aquaphor!