WHAT ARE PURPLE?

You just know this was leading to a

WHAT IS AN HERB

Ugh, I hate the people who are just impossible to explain anything to. I had a conversation about pesto this week that went like this:

Knowing my parents, I got a completely indecipherable speech full of metaphors, which is probably why I didn't understand it.

I looked at that first drawing and was sure the issue was that the tree trunk looked like a weird penis.

I do not remember getting the talk. I do, however, remember the day I learned (or it actually clicked?) the penis actually went INSIDE — I was 6, at the bus stop, and completely disgusted.

I was not the cute kid. My sister was. We have SO MUCH dirt on her. She really was very inventive and adorable.

Orange was my favorite color, because no one else ever picked it and I was afraid it felt left out. I was also extremely concerned about the feelings of my toys.

I'm super impressed that you created that out of kitchen materials at seven years old. Impressed and jealous at your creative genius.

Was anyone else one of those uber-sensitive kids who ascribed feelings to their toys and stuffed animals? I used to play with all of my toys on a rotation because I was afraid of hurting their feelings. I kind of did that with my clothes too - I would feel guilty if I didn't wear my red shirt for a while because I was…

As a seven year old, I raided the kitchen for my art supplies. I took some herbs, green food coloring, lemon juice, and turmeric powder to create this. My dad was so angry at me for destroying the kitchen and geting half the spice cabinet all over the floor, but he took this, and he framed it because he thought it was…

I used to do the Butt Parade, as my mom called it. Every time she got a phone call, I'd take off all my clothes and march around the house waving my diaper in the air. What can I say? I like to keep things classy. Also, pants suck

I had a weird obsession with cannibalism. For my 4th grade enrichment class I built a large papier mâché island featuring a volcano, trees, caves, essential cooking pot and cannibal play figures. I wish I had a picture of that. Instead I offer the Mother's Day card I made that year. Mum still has it. I can't believe…

So my story didn't really count, so I'll post it here, the story of how I ALMOST said no, kind of by accident.

Re: the makeup question.

Well, but Katherine Heigl has barely worked since Knocked Up and Grey's. Her new NBC show is the first thing she's done in quite some time.

This is not—and was never—good parenting.

this. fucking. gif. tho.

I love rap songs that channel that horror movie background track.