Yeah I missed this clarification in the last article and my Polak heart was hoping for tales of binge-eating pierogis, drinking vodka, obsessing over John Paul II, and lots of folk-dancing.

This is the best ongoing series since "Is Ariana Grande an adult baby?"

We have a lottttttttttt and there is a lot of emphasis on Spanx, I dunno, I feel like I'm missing something vis-a-vis the Spanx

i am so obsessed with the fact that this is going to be an ongoing thing

I love these emails! They are like watching animals at a zoo. How the fuck is every member of the sorority expected to own all these highly specific articles of clothing? What if my only pair of nude wedges is ever-so-slightly scuffed?

IRONY ALERT. Calling someone's posts ignorant while using "you're" instead of "your."

Hey, person with a neurodevelopmental disability here - using the R word makes you scum of the earth. Goodbye.

That's the funny thing — this seems to be a go-to for a lot of shithead commenters, when...um...this is my job now? I don't want tables any more. How do people not get that?

You are a gigantic fucking dickwad.

Oh bullshit. I dealt with customers like you for a decade. We can smell you coming. If it weren't the table, you would have found something else to bitch about and justify your being a cheap fucking asshole.

...wouldn't be tipping for the meal and apologized nicely to the server for that.

Let's say you really are this person, and your side of the story is 100% true.

1. Tips are for service. Most people working in industry think it's a God-given right. It's not.

hey pinkham: be satisfied with your pathetic life cause being a server is all that you will amount to.

"...shows lack of character..." hahaha lololol...coming from YOU??????

Nancy, what the fuck are you talking about please?

There's so much to love about your comment, but this is my favorite part:

If you are not wearing the required makeup, I will stop you and apply it myself. I don't care if you're late for class. I don't care if you're a sophomore or a super senior. I will stop you.

I kept reading polish week as Polish week, in which case I imagine the prep is less manicure and more:

Uh - this is still a university, right? I mean, they still have classes and assignments and stuff, beyond the time constraints presented by being polished for 15-hour days of recruiting PNMs?