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I wouldn’t wish a dead dog on my worst enemy, and that includes Mike Pence. I’m glad his furbabybeagle had a long life and, unlike American women, was probably treated very respectfully by Pence.

There’s no dismissing. And this isn’t pure fan wank. There’s a good story here, and the...wait, I wrote this stuff. You must have read it. Carry on.

The most unrealistic thing which gives it away right from the start, is the idea of anyone that obsessed with Slender Man having a girl friend for that long.

This, and the people who use proper military jargon in Battlefield games, are a fucking treasure. I really hope to play with someone like this someday.

It’s nice seeing someone who has been on the bottom and on the top so much finally learn to accept their versatility. #NoSexLabels

I’d for sure let her polish my spear.

Game of the goddamned year.

I don’t think you know what a beer belly is.

If you want really stinky farts, get a dog. My parent’s cocker spaniel lets out silent weapons of mass destruction that cold kill a forest.

SABAKU NO WA ORE NO STANDO DA

Serious question: why does Kotaku put the captions below the gif that’s being referred to? With the colon, it looks like it’s actually commenting on the following gif. Is it some standardized style for blogs (a la MLA) or something? I’m genuinely curious.

I remember when sex used to take 20 seconds, now it feels like like 5, even six minutes....I have G.I. Joes to play with, let’s wrap this up, peen.

Nah. If he’s involved in something interesting, we’re posting. Here we’ve got a playful way to look at the general pointlessness of pre-ordering video games. It only works because of the scale of his success.

omg keep politics out of my videogames. i thought this was Kotaku not My Vag Hurts Weekly. why isnt hillary clinton in a costume? male lives matter too. we are figuratively dying over here

“The game is bigger than you. Behave,”

I’m all for gun control, but in this time of national crisis, I make an exception.

So much here boggles my mind, I don’t even know where to begin.