It's like that movie "Tron" that I didn't see.

And yet the cook at the restaurant was just trying to make her feel better about herself. So he doesn't strictly follow Emily Post etiquette — the guy learned to cook biscuits and gravy by starting out cooking meth in his cousin's garage, for pete's sake. He's got a fourth-grade education, but his heart is in the…

I thought you were dream-sequence Maude Lebowski.

Yep. Turns out that all the background drawings depicted life in the 24¼ Century. Jones was perpetually tormented by all the anachronisms.

Special appearance by Sully Sullenberger on the breakdown leading into the last chorus.

She's a complicated woman, but no one understands her but PRX's Song Exploder.

No offense, Hannah, but you're a shitty weatherman. Nothing in the background of that video looks like a "light sunny day."

I prefer FX's "When a fire start to burn / there's a lesson you must learn / something something and you'll see / you'll avoid catastrophe!"

He's not even a real "the"!

I had Peconic Mania, but I cured it by moving to Suffolk County.

His agent tells Comedy Clubs that he'll arrive onstage sometime between 6 pm and midnight.

My IRA has been doing pretty well lately, and all I'm wearing is a ripped up pair of boxer shorts with food stains on them. So I'm guessing "me."

Canadian ass pennies.

Try France.

So she became a David Spade after all…?

Soon to be moved over to Kinja TV. Which only broadcasts in PAL.

Wear a velvet dress?

9:22, Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun, so once when I was six, I did. At first the brightness was overwhelming, but I had seen that before. I kept looking, forcing myself not to blink, and then the brightness began to dissolve. My pupils shrunk to pinholes and…

Nope, the spice. It makes neighborhood weirdos smell like a delicious glazed ham.

Humblebraggart.