Well, it turns out that if you pull out all of their legs they algo go deaf!

What Car Would Be Most Likely To Help You Stay Alive In A Horror Movie?

Why would you want to fuck the blender for half an hour? That sounds like a surefire way of losing your manhood.

Those are some Olympic-class problem-ignoring skills.

NONONONO! These ideas are not smart AT ALL, this is how house fires get started.

If there are seat belts provided for the side-mounted seats, you could have five on the rear bench

Are those... cables? hanging off of those earpods? In an age where phones are ditching jacks?

Because Foot Locker was already taken.

Wait a minute... I thought that sparks consisted of ionized, electrically conductive plasma. What am I missing here?

So... something like this then?

To me it just look like another generic Mitzdabizu pickup.

What kind of ass-backwards rules does Indy Racing have where there is a dude holding a couple of tires in oncoming traffic?

Nah man, I say BUY those 19" wheels, LOWER the car a few inches, TINT those windows. These are all things you need to do if you have that kind of cash burning your pocket and live with your parents. If you don’t get that out of your system you will regret not having done them the rest of your life.

How is this OK? Really, how is it remotely OK for Red Bull or anyone else to be pulling stunts like this in a densely populated city?

The B was running on the C man! What part don’t you understand?

He’s not getting those files, is he?

Cuddling? You know the dog will eventually try to fuck-the-shit out of that thing, right? Yorkshire Terriers are horny little fuckers. 

If the sleep-aid doesn’t pan out, would you be able to increase the breathing rate to say 800-1000 bpm so it becomes a.... umm... vibratory loin machine? (asking for a friend)

Where, pray, might one find a pre-loaded Dick Pic 5000? Mayhap at the airport’s Hudson News, or Duty Free Shop?

New CEO does not expect any layoffs? FIRE SOME FOLKS