Eternally?

twist-bear rear suspension

Finally! I’ve always gauged the completeness of Smash by whether I could play every character from Captain N: The Game Master. If we allow Peach to stand in for Princess Lana (due to the pink, obvs) then all we’re missing is a giant, floating Game Boy and Captain N himself. What do we think are the odds on that one?

Good headlights. The standard halogens on my old 6(plenty of area to have good dispersion) were total shit, worst I had driven in over 20 years, they were aimed properly, just bad. The basic LED slit-like ones on my CX-5 are far better with a far smaller area, though still not rated as good by IIHS, were miles better. …

I love the 5 digit keypad on Ford trucks. It's way better than a proximity key and solves lots of problems when traveling with multiple people or engaging in water-sports, mountain biking, any fun outdoor activity designed to kill electronic keys...

Rear hatches instead of just trunks. I don’t care if it’s the most sedan-looking sedan around. I want a hatch. Space behind the back seat head rests is typically just wasted space in a sedan with a trunk.

-Tire pressure readout: pretty much all cars constantly monitor tire pressure in one form or another, so why can’t they make this info available to the driver? It can be via infotainment, or instrument panel menus, or whatever. Just let me be able to see a tire losing air before it’s critical.

Beverage dispenser.

Headlights that turn on when the wipers are on. My 1999 Grand Cherokee had this feature and no cars I've owned since, though newer and nicer, have offered it. It's idiot proof.

Crank windows and manual transmissions.

somewhat of a feature?

Truck was semi-thirsty.

What do you mean? The front end is very se-duck-tive.

I'd build a minivan with a skyline drive train.

I wonder upon being robbed if the train driver was like “get mi-ata here”.*

I’m 99% sure a “banger” is a sausage.

Nonono, please encourage them, this is hilarious.

Does it Baby, actual mileage, actual purchase prices, could it be your only car, does it 8x4 plywood, does it fire road, can you get to all of the spark plugs, does an oil change require a double jointed Filipino, how does it handle with and without a trailer, does it try to scare you or is it more of a benign…

Corvette Go Kart? Anyone?