We are best judged by our enemies; Mourhino must be on the douche GOAT list.

As a parent who has instilled the necessity of knowing the difference between horseshit and bullshit to our 7yo boy and 9yo girl, you have confused the two.

As a parent who has instilled the necessity of knowing the difference between horseshit and bullshit to our 7yo boy and 9yo girl, you have confused the two.

Enough with the biting criticism already.

I thought the new drug testing policy was hitting everyone harder, especially the older ones.

Well, Cincy has a job opening once Lebron drafts his replacement.

Do the refs still get paid by the game, thus ensuring motivation to extend each series to as many games as they can?

Cincy is liable to go apeshit about this.

His twitter handle is in GOAT territory. I’ll wait while you check...

Where do I sign?

Not if your coach is Denny Hastert.

We love you and there’s nothing you can do about that any more than you can avoid the karma that comes from your actions. There’s no good luck with that.

That’s not love you ignorant fool, you are merely taking pleasure in mischief. As your requisite unhappiness unfolds, just remember this conversation; that part of you that loathes what I’ve told you is the enemy of all human beings. Once you accept that and begin to fight it, you will be able to find true joy. Until…

Mr. Magary, please hotbox every single other writer on deadspin whenever possible with whatever strain you worked that out on. Well done, indeed.

I love how obvious it is that the cats know how retarded their owners are, all while saying “But I won’t turn it down, dumbass”.

Hunger will work every time, guar-on-teed, but let’s not let it get to that, people.

Reality is that which exists regardless of what we want to believe or see.

Each person’s Free Will is equal and the power is absolute in that we can choose any level of good or evil and while karma and conscience will reign unhappiness on the evildoers during their unrepentant lives, there is usually no instant-karma.

If I understand correctly, the Pepper Hamilton folks did NOT produce a report, they produced a “presentation”. Being a “Top 100" law firm, they know all the new tricks, here being “If we don’t create a report, there is no report to leak.” Slimy, clever bastards.

Any luck finding some stuff that made you laugh?