More like a Nickelback concert, where a thousand people attended but you can’t get anyone to admit they went.

It’s amazing how many people keep being revealed as being at that meeting.

Just a note- they’re totally going to vote in that Senate Health Care bill this week. The good news, there’s two definite no votes so far, that being Susan Collins and Rand Paul. The bad news is the remaining moderates are hiding in a bunker hoping nobody notices they haven’t said no yet. Supposedly, they’re too…

“Republicans Senators are working hard to get their failed ObamaCare replacement approved.”

Today’s lesson: It doesn’t matter what you were thinking, and it doesn’t matter what you think of it today. What matters is that, at the time you crafted & put on each of these outfits, it made you feel like the Queen of the fucking May.

Yes, and meh. It needed more cowbell.

“It didn’t go through my head, because a job can come and go, but a life is only one time. The only thing running through my head is that person in the car could pass away and I could help him,” he said.

Can we start a GoFundMe for the return of Sassy?

I can’t. I can’t make jokes about this, or find it funny, or think “oh jeez THIS guy” or any of that fucking bullshit. Because at the end of the motherfucking day, I am raising my daughter in a world that is REGRESSING instead of PROGRESSING in terms of women’s rights and that makes me fucking sick to my stomach. It…

You picked the log, didn’t you? Do. Not. Sit. On. The. Log.

I got Tiff, which considering the options I’ll take as a win.

FUCK YOU BUZZFEED I AM NOT DONALD GOD DAMN TRUMP JR.

Theodore Roosevelt on his troublesome daughter:

I remember DARE.
When I was in 5th grade we had an officer come to our class that was supposed to come weekly for 2 months to talk about drugs and crap. He came once.... he never came back because apparently he was caught doing drugs and got fired literally a few days later.

The teacher came to the front of the room…

As a recovered alcoholic I can say please get medical help if you stop drinking. I had to be hospitalized three days before going to rehab to prevent this. Don’t be ashamed, and don’t think you can automatically do it on your own.

I mean... I’m an ex-con too. And I’m glad my girlfriend didn’t leave me after I told her. I was young and dumb. Now I know better and try to be as good of a human being (and partner) as I can. Everybody is saying felon like that means he has to be this horrible person. Sure, the way he cheated on his wife makes me…

Societally, nobody respects marriage anymore. Not the people in a marriage, and not the people outside it, either.

As an American I’d give anything to have a handsome, overrated, slack teacher leading my country. 😢

I feel the same way as an American reading a Trump article. I’m like “wow, do people just think I’m admiring his smoked turkey colored skin? How his face melts into his neck? His millionaire on a ketchup diet bod? How his suits perfectly contour his ego?” It’s the curse of having a super hot leader.

Trudeau: Did he try that handshake bullshit on you?
Macron: Oh yeah, he totally did. Thanks for the tips.