... Anything is possible. Which makes this a horrible argument.

Wear a pair.

Honest Answer: Being able to afford them.

You don't just leave them in your hotel room?

pictured: the NFL's proposed layout for the parking lot.

Going to a Super Bowl in person is like jerking off on Lindsay Lohan — sure, it would probably be fun enough... but, at the end of the day, it's nothing you can't do at home in front of your TV and save $4,000 in the process.

Give the guy credit. At least he said "NO" to Jameis right away, instead of saying "YES" but then waking up the next morning and deciding that his "YES" was really a "NO" and going to the cops about it, which is something that really, truly, happens all the time.

That stupid firesuit joke sounded pretty gender-specific to me.

Just off frame, a drunk Papa John is sitting in the driver's seat, seconds before driving head on into a wall.

"Oh my gosh, it's Josh, my phone's either off or I'm gettin' sauced. Leave a message at the beep."

"Rearrange the letters in PENIS and you have I ESPN." — @darrenrovell

May hornets built a hive in your brain.

But the Jets suck, how else are they supposed to say it?

WDIV deeply regrets the error, and apologizes sincerely to Mandela (pictured) and his family

@darrenrovell Rearrange the letters in ALEX RODRIGUEZ and you have REALIZE DRUG OX #PED #Sinkingship

Rearrange the letters in THE BIBLE and you get excommunicated at Nice.

"He would have had my Heisman vote either way"

This is nothing. I was watching a friend play with the Spurs, I laughed at something, and the game kicked me out of his house.

I hate when Gawker shares Deadspin posts.

I like the one where he got Ryan Howard to believe the Phillies would really give him a $125 million contract. That shit was hilarious.