Whatever. Car wrecks kill, like, way more people than guns. Why aren’t we outlawing cars, playgrounds, and scooters? I want guns and CTE.

Holy crap, that is what I call cherry picking your data. I’m a pediatric orthopaedist, so I speak from a point of knowledge here.

Roethlisberger looks like someone tried to make Will Ferrell in Fallout 4 but fucked up.

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.

HEADS UP, SPINNERS: as what I can only assume is a huge fluke caused by the great kinja-ing of summer 2016, I have just been followed by almost all of the Deadspin properties. I am entirely ignorant in matters of sports ball and my opinions should be immediately dismissed. You have been warned.

Even the talking heads are with Bosa on this. When those morons are on your side, you know you have a pretty good point.

He’s more willing to play hardball than every other Charger’s rookie. It’s not about a chess match, it’s about the inanity of a team taking a hard line against a player they thought highly enough of to use the third overall pick on, but do not think highly enough of to accept the full risk that he will be so bad (and…

You do know all his mom did was make a simple 2 sentence FB post, right? It’s not like she’s the one who is negotiating.

Your theory is correct, Joey Bosa is in fact the smartest rookie in football history.

That William Henry Harrison. They don’t make presidents like that anymore. He was going to end poverty, as well as racism, misogyny and all other forms of bigotry. Then he was going to broker a deal for lasting world peace. Too bad he didn’t get to see it out.

A hundred years ago an angry Austrian man didn’t get into art school and we got Hitler. Eighteen years ago an angry Austrian man got puked on. Dan, you’ve fucked us all.

Apparently my dad was in a bookstore last week and moved all the copies of it from the Fantasy section over to the Read Now counter.

Pat Egan @Pat_Egan

I’ve been married to my roommate for 16 years, so if she’s going to kill me at this point, I probably did something to deserve it.

I wondered what site you would migrate to. Everyone say hello to tomato face, Gawker’s most well known troll. His name is usually connected to tomatoes in some way. That’s how you can tell. This is the csikos Botermo tomato

Watkins was correct with this rant, though. And to punctuate his, point:
. . . . , . . ; .

Man, my hobbies are really boring.

Papelbon’s gonna be in so much trouble when Trump’s “Speak English” program kicks in.

The auction winner.

There is a Beyoncé take, which is shared (with varying degrees of sincerity) by at least three people on staff, that no one will ever publish for fear of the Beyhive’s wrath. Seriously. They are worse than Gamergate.