Easy everyone. You know how emotional and weepy conservatives tend to get. Let them cry it out for a couple hours. Its for their own good.

There’s a farmer who lets Affleck use his POPPITY to shoot guns, and when Affleck totes out a fucking sniper cannon to do some target practice and blows up a melon from a literal mile away, the farmer guy doesn’t get kinda suspicious?

4. Has Ben Affleck ever met an autistic person?

British lady is his non-verbal sister’s magic computer voice. And the brother twist was obvious by the halfway point. This movie was so bad.

NFL doctors agree the two men are not suffering from concussions.

Those first gen Town Cars are some of my favorite automobiles of the 1980s. The limo is even better.

That’s a good pun, I just wanted to again proclaim Dickinson as trash.

If Jezebel gets a hold of this article, the days of your grandfather just may come back to life.

“...(S)ome kind of communications failure” is pilot-speak for “neglected to change to the appropriate frequency when directed by ATC.”

Glad everything turned out ok, but let’s not pretend those German Typhoons were there to ensure the safety of the flight and its passengers.

I’m sure once he shows his transcripts he’ll be completely redeemed. /s

Let’s not forget that 45 “demanded” the release of Obama’s school grades/records because there’s no way a black man could be at Harvard or...be smart.

For a total weight savings of 27 pounds! At least when Porsche does it, it is obsessive/quirky: The door-pull straps instead of a handle, replacing the metal badge with a decal for weight and aerodynamic reasons, no radio, no AC...tartan...

Actually “CEO” is a term that means “Chief Executive Officer”, and is usually the title of the person who leads a company, may it be big or small. Sometimes they scam their way to the top, but sometimes it actually does take hard work and accomplishment. Also they may not do the day-to-day nitty gritty, but managing…

AND WHERE DO THEY TEND TO LIVE? IN CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISESESES. CITIES WITH URBAN HOUSING CRISEES HAVE ACRONYMS, LIKE LA OR NYC OR CHICAGO... CEO IS ALSO AN ACRONYM, WHICH REARRANGED SPELLS “OPEC”, BUT WITHOUT THE “P”. WHO ELSE DOESN’T HAVE PEE? SEA ANEMONES. ANEMONES IS A HOMONYM WITH ENEMY AND CEOS ARE THE…

Feaster is still employed by the school but will no longer be coaching the football team

Looks like it’s Famine time in the Feaster household

Don’t you mean Pete Finebaum?

Somewhere, deep in that hellhole called SEC Country, Paul Finebaum has a raging hard-on.

Tax deductions are still money you've spent out of pocket, which reduces your profit by more than the value of the deduction.