My five year reunion had 350 people as the official attendance. The crazy thing is only 120 people graduated from our high school.

Has there been any discussion of a uefa champions league style tournament between European and American teams?

According to the late great Bartcop your average white Oklahoma fan will yell a word that has two Gs, an N, an I, E, and R. And it won’t be GINGER.

This is what happens when you cut funding to sex ed. The NFL has to do the same job my 7th grade gym teacher did in the early 90s.

I wonder if he chose this profession because he can chew tobacco while doing it?

What is this guys pitch count over his career? Because usually most Japanese baseball players are all used up before they arrive in the MLB.

Has no one considered that she fell through parallel universe portal. And in her home dimension Iowa State and Arizona are in the same conference. Also the manufacturers of field turf were harvested for their organs and RichRod is forced to work on oil rigs in the North Atlantic.

He must be in Hell, thrilled over the failure of the electoral college system.

Can we get anything right this week?

Maybe it’s time to tax the a Southern Baptist Church.

Tuesday’s are spent with Baal, one of the princes of Hell of course, in the Saban household. They usually discuss how to convince black men to want to work for free in Alabama.

I think a Pro Texas bias is also to blame for this.

He needs a James Dolan body double, incapacitating drugs, and a storage facility like they had in Oldboy.

That’s not much of a slap.

Assholes.

What caliber firearm did Will Lietch hold to your head to get this article written.

I’m astonished that more college football fans haven’t started calling PSU Pederast State.

He’s just taking advantage of the fact that he shares a city with Dan Snyder and Trey Gowdy. He could juggle 1 month old babies for entertainment and still not crack the top stories of the day.

I told someone at work that this happened yesterday and the first thing they asked is if it was Tom Brady’s dildo. Now we have the answer.

What are the Harlem Globetrotters going to do after LeBron shows them up in the NBA?