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How I dress for totally awesome foam parties:

"Selfish Jerks Are Genetically Predisposed to Cancer, Heart Disease."

Come forth, my child, and showeth thine under breast. For hark on to thee a shirt, be swaddled. Yet weareth not bra nor bandeau, for in such entrapments thy devil does thrive.

But can it scan a wide spectrum of EM frequencies?

The Chicago Tribune figures out the internet! (h/t Marcus Gilmer)

Goodnight internet! Thanks for the nightmares!

I'm not saying that this article isn't called for, but I would also ADORE it if someone wrote an article entitled "How to be Religious Without Being a Dick".