I am so glad there was no one there to witness my betrothal. We were naked in a hotel room bed and had just come... no pun intended... to the mutual decision we needed to get married. None of this "Kiss Cam at a stadium" bullshit for us!

Olivia Pope is behind it, I bet. Even I think this whole thing is insane and I'm Pro-Gov Patty like 95% of the time!

Yo, I'm gonna file this one under "Things I Wish Jezebel Wouldn't Do."

Seriously, you guys. Why are we doing this? I love Jez, but seriously, why the implicit snark? Why make fun of this girl, drag her life out into the open? None of us would appreciate to have our lives dragged into national news like this. Yes, I know it was her social media behavior that enables media outlets to…

of course beyonce's handwriting looks like that. of course it does.

New life goal: be so awesome that Beyonce writes me a letter and signs off with "All my love and respect."

"When we say “Teach men not to rape,” we’re not talking about telling them not to jump out of the bushes in a ski mask and grab the nearest female. We’re talking about the way we teach boys that masculinity is measured by power over others, and that they aren’t men unless they “get some.” We’re talking about teaching…

Oh honey, which one, lol.

Don't feed the troll.

I worked with a woman who could describe her runs in almost real time. "So then I started up this incline and..." Excruciating.

Right? What do non-sluts talk about at brunch? "Last night was lovely, we went to dinner and uhm, that was it. Your turn"

I dunno...I don't hate on non-sluts, but really, if you don't swear, drink, or screw around, I probably can't relate to you. And I sure as hell don't trust you. ;-)

i have some networking events coming up and just realized i have been seriously slacking on my koi pond conversation starters. i'll have to get on that asap :)

This is my new favorite thread.

"Sluts can't slut it up in yesterday's fashions"

Right? Fuck those people who like things I don't like. Assholes with their hobbies.

Before all the backlash about how prudish women can make great friends as well, I would like to just point out that all of my best friends fall into a more promiscuous category and the ones who are less so tend to be more judgemental and harder to relate to. Sluts FTW!

Other things I wish people would stop talking about: their babies, their jobs, their relationships, Scandal, GoT, Mad Men, and everything else that people find personally exciting.

add juicing to this list and you have the unholy trifecta of annoying breakroom conversations. its a cult.

Can we also tell those same people that it's not necessary to talk about cross fit all damn day? It's not part of your diet/workout regimen to be an insufferable cross fit cult member.