So her boyfriend stole a credit card?  Thats all i can gleam from this.

Damn i love massachussetts. No open carry. You should move here. I’ll tell everyone you’re cool

I feel like hes thinking of kenny chesny or whatever like some country dude. Trumps base thinks songs without words are for queers or something.

Happened like 30 years ago. Was quitting smoking using twizzlers for oral fixation. Red wasnt working tried black. Low potassium equals high blood pressure. Smoking forever doesnt help. Jesus man its an article about an old antecdote in a medical journal. Do you need to speak to a manager? Would you like a refund

They knew about the 311 call.  They knew she would be driving it.  They were praying for her to take her hands off the wheel.

I got a full butt and an empty box..... Anyone know this guys address?

There won't even be a usa in 5 years

Wanna buy some Chris Benoit tapes?

Bidden will surely make it rain dogs and cats, no?

It was probably the fat ass.  You can flag body shaming.  Its more to protect teenage girls from bullies.  

Is there a sign outside their little lodge that says something like, “must hate black people this much to enter” and there’s a wooden pig holding his hooves really far apart?

Exactly that. Fire them all dissolve the unions and hire new people who are not nazis. You can still jerk off to punisher comics if you want though.

Oh i love it when my girlfriend sends seven texts in a row for about thirty words total. Why have my phone buzz for a second when it can go absolutley nuts for over half a minute

Wow you are staunchly defending this unknown deadbeat dad.  Something hitting close to home?  How many thousands of dollars do you owe?

She just has to lose her truck and she'll be a country music star

The unluckiest mail order bride of all time

If i was your teacher the pronoun I’d use for you everyday would be “dog shit muthafucka.” just my own speech if you got mad about it I’d sue you

She meant the real God, Allah.

Send him back to Skagos

Santa killed the easter bunny with a sled