that's what my mom said about my virginity.

So like a Bizzaro Live and Let Die?

"Might". Might? This isn't news. Maybe it will rain somewhere tonight too!

I read this comment with Mike Myers' Scottish accent in mind. Did I do it right?

"I am fluent in over 6 million languages and math isn't one of them" C3PO Spambot

This just in! Water is wet!

Man, it's so sad that she stopped doing music consistently.

Eddie Murphy with the "Axel F" montage in Beverly Hills Cop for the win!

No Dawes = No Thanks!

Have the Cold War Kids stopped touring in the last 7 years? I feel like they are in my town 2-3 times a year, every year.

Don't mistake Black Pistol Fire for Black Tiger Sex Machine. It could ruin the whole weekend!

Didn't see The California Raisins on this list, what gives?

*furiously scribbles notes*

Pee & Keel is on the Hallmark Channel. It's about accidents at nursing homes. Not as funny but close!

Sorry about that…

Is that the spin off of "Pony Players"? I learned a few new things from that show!

So the Cleveland Browns?

Watch it, Marvin Gaye's family will sue you!

If Keenan dies I'm canceling SNL.

Is it too late to give the lines back?