I’m sad I didn’t see that one.

I remember that story!

My dream was to get on Jeopardy, so I could tell a terrible story, and be on The Soup segment: Great Story Jeopardy Contestant!

So happy to have “The Soup” back. Don’t care what they call it.

The man’s been adopting whatever opinion gets him the most attention for so long, that he’s completely forgotten (if he ever knew) how to have one of his own.

Happy Presidents’ Day, now get 10% off bump stocks so you too can be a mass murdering nutjob with an axe to grind...

Thank you, Chris. I had forgotten how much I love this video.

holy crap 💩

Here. Cleanse yourself.

Something that I’ve been thinking about only embarrassingly recently (I’m transitioning to old) is that we are going to have a generation of students who grew up with mass shootings. The number of young people immediately affected grows with every shooting, and they’re looking at the adults who have deemed this part…

These are the same people that shout “MENTAL HEALTH” to avoid talking about guns, while actively and proudly working to dismantle health care legislation that makes mental health care easier to access.

I don’t actually know anyone who came across the beads, but ahead of time there were rumors they’d be thrown in Endymion, Rex, and Muses (as far as I know). Those parades are so big and people are always in charge of their own throws, so I’d be hesitant to hold the krewe’s leadership in full responsibility. I am in a…

Right? What does “This is what happens when you attempt to leave high school a year early to attempt to join the NBA” even mean? Attempt? Did I hallucinate his 15-year-and-counting career, or did LeBron fucking James, 3 times NBA champion, do more than attempt to join the NBA?

Go Ellen!

If you’re not trained, and if you have a criminal disposition—a violent disposition—it can be turned into a killing machine.

There is only one problem with your argument: pointing out THE ACTUAL FACT that Lincoln did not free the slaves isn’t “Lincoln-bashing.”

Please pass the jazz-cigarette my good brother, and let us raise our fists while we plan the overthrow of the white-supremacists. Shall we seduce their women with our striking muscles first? As you can see, I am what you would call a black man.

I am also a black person, fellow black person. Let us drink malt liquor and smoke marijuana while we fondly remember other black people. Then, we can attend a black dance party at the Disco with other black people and talk about our shared distaste for the white man. Then we can shoot other black people and do other…

“That was earlier this week! Gawd! Why can’t blacks ever let go of the past?!”

Dear Tyler,