[Slow Clap]

Staring at, and pointing out, a visibly erect (but clothed) penis sounds more like sexual harassment to me than actually having an erection. I mean, I don’t know how to tell you this, cabbagehead, but erections can be involuntary responses to the environment, and making a big deal out of it is weirder than actually…

I saw him walking outside the Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia (where there’s always a ton of foot traffic) one day, eating an ice cream cone. He looked so normal that I did a double take, but it was unmistakably him. I didn’t want to bother him (he looked so content!) so all I did was try not to stare, but…

It’s ok, I guess I should have replied with “obviously, you’re not a golfer.”

Has no one seen The Big Lebowski?!?!?

What the fuck you talking about?

You must’ve been chomping at the bit to correct him.

I understood what you meant - and agree!

My mistake - they were all so long it’s hard for me to distinguish one from another.

Did you see any of his Star Wars movies? They were ok.

Yeah, I watched Looper because I loved Brick, and I found myself disappointed. I did love Knives Out though.

Pretty sure they called her “stocky” not “stalky” but that’d be cool if they did.

You should try reading the article. I’ve been around professional and amateur ballet pretty much my whole life, and it’s undeniable that you don’t have to be fat to be considered too big for dance. In fact, the ideal is (in my opinion) unhealthily thin, and promotes eating disorders which lead to other health issues.

So why are you reading the article and writing comments, if you have so much important emoting to do about Ukraine?

Look, unless you’re from Wisconsin, I don’t think your one or two relationships with cows qualify you as some kind of expert.

Unlike Taco Bell, they aren’t open late enough to be there for me at my lowest points.

Yeah, but red shit? That might make more of a puce than purple.

HAHA, they changed it! It was a red SHIRT all along!!!

I...have not. So it’s not a typo? I guess I need to go see Purple Rain and stfu.

“...washed with a red shit?”