Meningococcal sepsis. That gives me the worst heebie-jeebies.

@201curzonst: Smacking kids who reach for shiny objects? Isn't that how they taught the Deltas to hate roses in "Brave New World"?

Maybe he's got that virus from Sheldon's "The Screwfly Solution".

"Click here for more hysterical tips!"

@morninggloria: My hair is just below the waist, and I'll braid it and pin it like that. You just loop one end where it starts and then warp the rest around.

@Gretchen now has TWO kittens: Here's what we do: we get a giant class-action suit together that posits the government has no business issuing marriage certificates due to separation of church and state. Everyone can do it, no matter what state they live in. Then we just ask for the "marriage" filing fee back—nothing…

@TheFormerJuneBronson: Anyone who owns that poster has it in their bathroom. I know I do!

@TheFormerJuneBronson: I hear that Scott tissue can prevent that.

@bluewine: Ah, chindogu never gets old.

Is Twilight a white-girl thing? I still don't get it.

Mmmmm, Red Lobster cheese biscuits. I can't argue with her on that. #meganfoxhate

Oh, that cleaning thing isn’t just when both partners have jobs. It works just as well when he’s unemployed. My ex was very good at not cleaning the house, complaining that laundry needed to be done, and putting a can of Wolf-Brand chili and Dinty-Moore beef stew in one pot. Add elbow macaroni and a tablespoon of…

@Sputnik_Sweetheart: I'm having "King of the Hill" flashbacks myself.

@chinaplate: "Madly distorted" is very generous of you. How about, "His entire sample population wouldn't be enough for an automatic tip on a restaurant bill"?

@Dirk Anger: I think the problem in the Brazilian kid's case was she was NINE YEARS OLD and had twins. Kinda hard to carry to term when you only weigh 80 pounds.

@Aesop's Foibles. YES.: I dunno. Two sweaty bellies coming together to make the fart noise just lead to crazy laughter, but it didn't stop anything.

They got rid of Samantha? The *actual* Victorian? Wow. She was my favorite (I never had one, but my younger sister got a Kirstin back when there were only three dolls...)

doh! double post! Gahhhh.

Bill Bailey is.

@redqueenmeg: Yo yo, boats reprezentz, yo.